Balancing a child’s autism assessment with your PR career

Before I start - I want to share some context at the top ofthis piece.

 Firstly, I am no expert when it comes to neurodiversity orbeing a parent to a child with additional needs. My son is four andneurodivergent. To be honest I have been learning as I go and still am tryingto navigate this journey.

 But having recently attended a PR Mums event with 72Pointand CIPR, I realised a couple of things.

 Firstly, there are so many more of us than I was aware of in the PR industry. Being a neurodivergent parent can be so lonely. But being in a room with individuals, or simply hearing from people who understand what an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) is, have children who are non-verbal or are simply still fighting for the right support, is so reassuring.

 The second point relates to one of the topics that Hannah Wrathall (Wrapp Consulting) mentioned as part of the discussion - the importance of talking about neurodiversity to help the language feel more familiar, so it’s not overwhelming.

It then suddenly dawned on me that I haven’t been speaking about this enough. In my head I have processed and questioned a million different things since we knew something was different - from what the hell does this mean, to will my little boy be ok when he starts school? But I haven’t really said much out loud, other than to a select few family members and friends. Surely talking about it more will help me understand what’s going on and stop getting so overwhelmed by it all? Why haven’t I done this?

So, why am I writing about this on PR Mums when I haven’t even spoken about this to some of my friends and family?

All I know is that I want to surround myself with people who have experienced similar things, to learn more and find out if other people are on a similar journey to our family (though every child is different, of course). My 10+ years developing my career has taught me that the PR industry is a very fast-paced sector. It can be stressful, hectic and at times a little crazy! I relish the fact that no two days are the same, but meeting others who have a shared understanding and know the real juggle of having a child with additional needs (aka what I’m going through) is hard to find.

If I can give some reassurance and inspiration to other parents in this industry who are facing something similar, I’d consider that extremely worthwhile. I know I always appreciate reading other people’s stories. So to whoever reads and connects with these words - I see you.

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For me and my family, we are in the midst of a key time in my son’s life.

Last week we found out which mainstream primary school he was going to attend. In the same week, we got the call that we knew was coming, we were dreading, but also relieved to receive - our boy is going to be assessed for autism in May.

All the emotions run through you - you are surprised at first, it’s been a year and a half in the making, but this is progress. Hooray! You talk through the process with the lady on the phone, who explains where we need to go and what we need to do. You put the phone down. There is elation! You call your husband to tell him we finally have the assessment booked in. You put the phone down.

Now everything is running through your mind. I hope he is going to be ok during the assessment. What will happen once it’s confirmed? What if they uncover something else that we’re not prepared for? Does this mean we get additional support? Do we get funding? When do I tell the school? I hope he is going to be ok in school…

Questions whirl around in your mind, and then you end up asking yourself whether you are ready to finally get the confirmation you’ve known in your heart for a long time. It will be ok, won’t it?

For me as I write this, while the initial round of emotions have calmed down from last week, they still creep up every now and again and I find myself awake in the middle of the night worrying about it all. I’m not sure if that worry will ever go away as a neurodivergent parent.

It’s overwhelming. Not only going through the assessment, but understanding what’s going to happen next. All the hospital visits, school meetings, paperwork and more. I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

However, as we get closer to the assessment and the dust is(sort of) settling, there are a few things I know I need to do to ensure I’m not only looking after my little boy, but myself and my family too (I also have a daughter). Here is my advice for any parent going through something similar right now:

●     Start talking the language - saying the words autistic or disabled out loud is scary. I didn’t think it would be, but it is. These words brand your child in a different way, and once that label is there, a lot of people will only view your child through this lens. Find the language you are comfortable with, so you can get used to it and feel slowly more confident and less overwhelmed. 

●     Find your tribe- find other parents to build your network, share experiences and widen your understanding. You may be surprised how many other Special Educational Needs(SEN) parents are in the same class/school or even the same industry who you can talk to.

●     Open communication is key - don’t suffer in silence. If you are struggling to get your head around an assessment, talk to your line manager to make sure you are given the space and time you need to process everything. Having someone senior at work who knows your situation will make all the difference so you get the support and understanding you need.

●     Don’t put pressure on yourself to continue building your career - as your child grows, their needs will evolve, so it's important to be ready to adapt. There might be times when you need to prioritise home life and take a step back from your career. That’s ok. Achieving a work-life balance that suits both you and your family is crucial for securing long-term success and happiness.

As an industry, there are also a couple of aspects to consider. Firstly, organisations must have the right policies in place to support SEN parents. For example, certain organisations offer paid ‘adjustment leave’ for employees during periods of diagnosis or significant life changes.Wouldn’t it be great if all DE&I policies included this? In addition, being clear about the rules and support options can help ease some of the stress and confusion that comes with juggling work and caregiving.

Finally, as PR professionals we have influence. We must harness this to push the agenda for underrepresented voices and make people accountable. By advocating for inclusivity and understanding, we can create amore supportive and inclusive working environment for all.

I’m keen to grow my SEN parent tribe so if you’d like to connect, you can find me on LinkedIn.

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